�I shouldnapos;t have read all those magazines. Skinny celebrities everywhere. Perfect, long, and lean legs. Slender figure, flat stomach, and perfect face. I shouldnapos;t of hung out w/my best friend. She was the epitome of a skinny girl. Heck, you could even mistake her for a celebrity with the right terms. I also read once that if you hang out with skinny people, youapos;re most likely to lost weight. Heck What was I thinking?�I actually gained a few.
I still gained even though I watched what I was eating. It sounds all wrong. Totally. Then why did I still torture myself? The answer is IDK.�
Iapos;m telling everyone; I do not have a sickness.�
Iapos;m an innocent girl, affected my the hollywood thin craze, and Iapos;m obsessed with losing a little weight. If I had an eating disorder, I would be underweight. I would be stick skinny, and I donapos;t like that. There would be no point of being stick skinny, because why would you be alive. Die, have all your meat removed, and youapos;ll be stick skinny.
The funniest thing I heard about a girl with eating disorders was about a girl who was fat. She ate baby powder every 4 hours. Now thatapos;s crazy, letapos;s all admit.�
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Iapos;m lucky to say that Iapos;ve stopped this phase and passed it.�
I donapos;t care anymore. You put french fries in front of me, Iapos;ll eat it. You take me to Red Mango, I wonapos;t mind ordering large, even though it makes me broke. The summer helped me recover. I had time to think in the summer. But I donapos;t like spending time with my mom in the summer. Thatapos;s too much time. Too much time for her to say "donapos;t gain anymore weight", or "youapos;ll look better if your thighs were tinier". So I neglected her. I needed some time away from her, so I neglected her.
Food is weird now. I get out some coke from the fridge and my mom tells me to stop drinking it so much and drink water instead, but I donapos;t care. I just take it and pour myself an extra serving.
Iapos;ll always be surrounded my skinny girls who donapos;t even have to put a second thought into what they eat. Theyapos;re just naturally stick skinny. Theyapos;re the happiest. I envy them; why canapos;t god give me good genes and let me be? But, genes have nothing to do with anything. Anyone has the ability to lose weight and change their life, it all depends on their perseverance, their will, and their ambition. Iapos;m one of those people who lack that.�
It makes me laugh the first time I ate a cinnamon bun in a long while. Just that big bite; it was so delicious. Absolutely mouthwatering icing, and that sweet cinnamon, and chewy dough. Just perfect, and after, I didnapos;t feel guilty. Completely guilt free. HAH. Iapos;m going to laugh in those peopleapos;s faces; no, Iapos;m just kidding. =]
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